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Suppose it was they who'd changed their names to Halfwit and Dogface. Maybe we'd now be looking at a final comprising Cairon, Beinazir, Angel, Saffia and latecomer Tom. Maybe I'd be writing a post saying this was the worst final ever. Maybe I'd be lambasting BB for making sure Cairon got such good edits and for changing the rules to keep that fiery Russian boxing girl in.

Maybe I'd be acknowledging that at least they got rid of that foulmouthed Marcus and that toffee-nosed Freddie early on, but I'd loved to have seen more of Brummie girl Lisa.

And why, oh why, did they never give that cheeky lad Charlie a chance, sending him off alone on that bus, only three nights in?

Maybe.



That, of course, is the beauty of BB. You never know! I almost always feel very sorry for the early evictees: the Sadas, the Stephanies, the Bonnies, and the Beinazirs. But actually, when you see them return for the final night, they often seem the happiest. The sanest too. They are the ones least warped by the whole experience. It's the ones who come fourth and fifth who look the most jaded. They've got to the final, thought they might actually win. Then they are out to a perfunctory interview, and the spotlight shines on the others still in.

Then they get ignored by the papers who are only really interested in the winner and the girl with the biggest breasts. They don't even make all that much money out of it, either.

Still, that's the game. And the biggest puzzle in all this is, why? BB manipulates so much, yet it can't have actually wanted this final five. I think it all started when Freddie was evicted. It was a close call, and they'd clearly wanted him to stay. John McCririck was on the panel that night, and he was a big Marcus fan. That was why he was there.



Freddie going ruined everything for BB. It was the only reason they'd kept Lisa in as well. Freddie needed Lisa as his nemesis. The longer she stayed, the more likely it was that Freddie would win. Lisa on her own with no enemy and only David for company was a waste of space. Marcus took Freddie's spot as the anti-Lisa candidate. But he swore too much and broke too many BB rules. They had to get him out. Then Siavash took over as the alternative winner. But he broke even more rules that Marcus did.

If Siavash somehow triumphs tomorrow night BB will hate it. It will stick in their craw as much as Rachel winning did last year. He will get bad edits tonight and tomorrow. He will surely come third, behind David in fifth, and Charlie in fourth. He's really this year's Aisleyne. A lot of people are rallying behind him as the anti-BB candidate. But Aisleyne was the anti-BB candidate of BB7 and she never stood a chance.

Why didn't BB give her that chance? Give her - give anyone - a chance to triumph over Pete? Because she was meant to be that year's Bea - a late arrival who ruffled everyone up then leaves to a chorus of boos. She wasn't mean to win.

And Siavash, once he stopped nominating, once he took himself out of the game, never stood a chance to win this. It kind of serves him right too.

In a better world - or at least - in a world as written about a month ago, Noirin would have been evicted on Tuesday, and we'd have had a final five of Freddie, Marcus, Siavash, Rodrigo, and Sophie.

Now that would have been a final. BB blew it. It always does

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A crushing 68.6% wanted her out. So out she goes.

As Lesley reminds us, the interview was diabolical. To think I first welcomed the new panel idea. But perhaps that was more to do with the interviewee, not the procedure. Sophia was interested in what they had to say. They listened to each other, and she was coherent and defended herself intelligently.

Since then it's been downhill all the way. Shrinks who talked psychobabble as if it was fact, not opinion, and celebs who look as though they've never seen the show before in their life.

This time around, for Lisa, Davina glossed over the difficulties: minor rows with Freddie and the like, asked stupid questions, and let the panellists talk all over one another.

What Bea and Noirin made of it, back home on their sofas, who knows. They got a far harder time of it. What, finally, did Noirin do that was so terrible? She kissed a guy.



The longer the series goes on, the more vacuous the interviews become. This isn't always the case. Makosi got a torrid time, in front of a crowd as well, and Jason sat their bemused. He came second in BB5, and Davina sat their ridiculing him.

But it doesn't augur well for the final. She certainly won't give cheeky Charlie a hard time at all. "Maybe you pushed some of your jokes too far". She might just try it once. Then he'll say he never meant anything by it, and she'll then ask him if he fancies Rodrigo. Nothing to see here, let's move along.

I mean, do they all think Lisa is a delicate flower who couldn't take it? Is saying: "I think the reason you're here now is that in the early weeks you surrounded yourself with a gang of hyenas who tore into Freddie for hours on end, behind his back and in front of his face, and you never gave him an even break. He endlessly tried to reason with you and none of you gave a damn".

How hard can it be? It's what the audience wanted to hear. Even the ones who thought Freddie was arrogant, difficult, and the author of his own misfortunes might have wanted to hear it.

As is, Lisa left to a chorus of boos, and she won't yet know why.



Anyway, the game is over now. Even though it's got the worst set of final week housemates since BB6, and even though it's probably the closest final ever, it's also got the least worthy set ever as well. But Sophie's got it all wrapped up. Her Noirin impression will have tipped the balance in her favour, and Siavash once again ballooned a golden chance over the crossbar.

When they were shown the highlights of the programme in which he kissed Noirin, he could have taken it well. He could have laughed gamely, played along with it, and seen the funny side. Instead he did his tortured martyr bit, buried himself under the blanket, asking, self-consciously, "Biggie, why are you doing this to me?"

Can you imagine Freddie, or Marcus doing the great big sulk? Even Lisa would have played along.

So it's Sophie for the win. Mind you, I'd still like it to be Rodrigo, if only because I predicted it on Launch Night
darloboy (Play The Game!)
I don't agree with some of that. For starters, I think the people who are chucked out in the first week or two are forever going to wonder how they might have fared if they had a chance to stay in longer and convince us of their scintillating personality. I also don't agree about Siavash, but then I wouldn't being a fan. The final should have been Freddie, Angel, Marcus, Siavash. S o d the rest. That would have been a brain aching decision to make. Big Grin
cologne 1
Good article, I too feel sorry for early evictees who never got the chance to really show us what they were like (particularly Sada and Anoushka)

BB definately don't want Siavash winning, as that will be two winners in a row that they won't know what to do with. He is this years Aisleyne, in that he is the anti bb candidate for many, but he stands a better chance than she did, being an atractive (to some) male and being an original hm. He may be having a low key finish to BB, but that is surely better than being reduced to a tearful, paranoid wreck which poor Ash was by her seasons end! He is actually in with a good chance of winning I think.
kimota
quote:
Originally posted by cologne1:
quote:
Originally posted by darloboy07:
Glyn was a way better housemate than Aisleyne *scarpers quickly* Ninja.

Naughty step for you my boy. How can you say that? Eeker Smiler



I didn't fall into the overhype of Aisleyne, fair enough she was a decent housemate but she had no chance of winning was always between Glyn and Pete. *scarpers again before the Faker mob come* Ninja.
darloboy (Play The Game!)
quote:
Originally posted by darloboy07:
Glyn was a way better housemate than Aisleyne *scarpers quickly* Ninja.

Glyn was OK apart from his friendship with Grace and refusal to see any wrong in her - even when it came to chucking water over poor Susie.

He reckoned she deserved it because she was "boring". Some head boy he must have been, then - I'm glad I never went to his school, if he was the example being set, that it's OK to physically abuse boring people.

What if they'd all start chucking stuff at him every time I started banging on about nationalism? I'm Welsh, and even I was sick of it.
Demantoid
quote:
Originally posted by darloboy07:
quote:
Originally posted by cologne1:
quote:
Originally posted by darloboy07:
Glyn was a way better housemate than Aisleyne *scarpers quickly* Ninja.

Naughty step for you my boy. How can you say that? Eeker Smiler



I didn't fall into the overhype of Aisleyne, fair enough she was a decent housemate but she had no chance of winning was always between Glyn and Pete. *scarpers again before the Faker mob come* Ninja.

To be serious for a minute, I can see why you would like Glyn better, but as someone a bit older he was just an irritant, whereas Aisleyne provided conflict and did it in an intelligent way. Smiler
cologne 1
quote:
Originally posted by jamieboy:
i didnt see all the hype in aislene she was always cryin all the time
and i din like glyn he was a bit of a twat

and i agree siavash shud of just sucked it up and smiled at it




Nod what was so special about her did I miss something?, but remember critcising of Aisleyne is not allowed on the forums, just kidding Wink Laugh.
darloboy (Play The Game!)
quote:
Originally posted by darloboy07:
quote:
Originally posted by cologne1:
quote:
Originally posted by darloboy07:
Glyn was a way better housemate than Aisleyne *scarpers quickly* Ninja.

Naughty step for you my boy. How can you say that? Eeker Smiler



I didn't fall into the overhype of Aisleyne, fair enough she was a decent housemate but she had no chance of winning was always between Glyn and Pete. *scarpers again before the Faker mob come* Ninja.


I'm a FAKER and you're alright by me. We're a nice bunch really ! Big Grin
kimota
So, Big Brother is to be no more. Channel 4 has decided that its most successful show has run its course. They may be making a big mistake.


Audience figures for the tenth series, which ends this week, have sagged to a measly couple of million per show, down from a peak of around eight million in Big Brother's heyday. But go to the show's online discussion groups and you'll find plenty of people thoroughly engrossed by the activities of the current set of housemates. You'll also discover comments lamenting the media's lack of proper engagement with this series and Channel 4's strange decision to cut the 24-hour live internet feed. It was this constant web-feed that helped the media write the stories that gave the show its high profile and, without it, there's little wonder press coverage has declined. This is a big own goal that has cost Channel 4 dear.

No one will deny the fall in ratings. But, honestly, who gives a toss? We'd never have Channel 4 News, Newsnight, or any serious arts and political coverage on the channel if we pursued this argument. Those keen to see the back of Big Brother have ignored the fact that this year's series has been eminently watchable. Gone are the screaming trannies, the fame junkies, the weird desperados and the clinically insane. In fact, this year's show is one of the best ever. Whether through luck or judgement, the producers have picked an interesting and, largely speaking, nice bunch of housemates.

And unlike some of the desperate fameseekers of the past, most of these contestants have signed up for refreshingly old-fashioned reasons. It's clear they share a view that being on Big Brother is an incredibly interesting experience in its own right. Forget the prize money, and forget fame afterwards, it's just fun to be involved and living in the moment.

Take Freddie for example. Freddie was agreeably eccentric, intelligent and perceptive. He offered us comments on how Big Brother gave him a heightened reality that was simply better than life on the "outside". He reckoned that even the bad bits of the BB experience were really good bits and that he will have much to look fondly back on after the show is over. Freddie wasn't in it for the prize money: his family owns a house the size of Gloucester, so he isn't short of a bob.

And there's also been Marcus. As a Wolverine look-alike and a single chap, he must know he's not up for a Heat or Hello! deal afterwards. In the outside world, Marcus is a keen role-playing game enthusiast and his appearance on the show seems to be motivated by trying to get the better of Big Brother. He is playing a strong hand and it has been fun watching his gameplan unwind.

Another housemate is Siavash. With his fantastic clothes, great hair, brilliant hats and admirably laid back approach to life, a cooler guy it is hard to find. Siavash holds his cards close to his chest, but I like to think he's there simply because he likes hanging out with people. In the Big Brother house there's plenty of time for that.

Ten years on, the show still offers a window on a wider world. Over the years, it has repeatedly challenged my personal prejudices and stopped me stereotyping housemates. Street-fightin' Victor, who I initially misjudged as a hard nut, turned out to be self-aware and gently self-deprecating, once you got past the bravado. I also really liked Science who had a skin so thick it could slice planks in two. He was a great housemate and, once you got to know him, far more complicated and interesting than his initial presentation (or my prejudices) suggested. Amma, Bubble, Eugene; I came to like them all over time as my first impressions were pleasantly overturned. Confounding easy stereotypes and quick judgements is what is still so good about Big Brother.

If, like me, you are in your thirties or forties, you might come to realise that at this stage in life most of your friends come from the same sort of background as yourself, living very similar lives. Sadly, all of us are getting slightly duller and more predictable with each passing year. Watching vibrant Big Brother housemates having fun is good for my soul and serves to remind me that there is life beyond bill paying, mortgage worries and career goals.

So, in spite of Channel 4's decision to ditch it, let's hope Big Brother lives to find another broadcast home. Because with the right housemates, I – and millions of others – still find it an immensely entertaining experience.
darloboy (Play The Game!)

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