quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
aims.....i've read a few of your posts on your ex..he sounds a complete bastard......

i don't really know what to suggest other than giving your daughter lots of love and hugs and reassurance that you'll always be there for her......which i'm sure you're doing anyway xx.....

quote:

Originally posted by Pistol Petey:
Aimee I have 2 sons with an ex husband and although he pays maintenance when he feels like it, in cash... He still lives his life and fits the boys in around him on a saturday, even though he supposed to have them Saturdays and sundays every week and them to stay every other week...except he doesn't ever!

I gave up explaining it all to them and just said that is what your dad wants, but never mind, let's go to ....... insert great place here<<<<<

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
i could strangle mine at this present moment we haven't been together for a long time, so his life has got nothing to do with me and frankly i couldn't careless what he gets up too BUT we have a child together

anyway, when we split he met and started a family with another woman, daughter didn't like the fact too start with but got used to having a half brother, recently she found out through her grandparents that he as also now left her

he's never paid any maintence for my daughter and after all these years, i can say my daughter hasn't suffered, but she's always wanted her dad to be in her life

yesterday her grandad picked her up and asked her if she had heard from her dad *his son* and my daughter said no, he told me he is working away *grandad* *no he isn't working away he's moved to Ireland with his new woman, didn't he tell you*

i now how have a child that is so upset and i don't know how to help her

quote:

Originally posted by Jet Blue:
What a shame your ex just hadnt taken you daughter to one side and explained to her what was happening instead of her finding out like this. Perhaps you could find out his address and your daughter could write to her father or a telephone number so she could phone him. You say she wants her father in her life so this would be a way she could maintain some kind of contact with him. Or maybe she could chat online to him. It's aweful that you will be the one picking up the pieces right now but all you can do is be there for her and thankfully most kids are very adaptable to new situations they find themselves in and hopefully she will mend soon and be able to get on with her life. Good luck

quote:

Originally posted by Queen of the High Teas:
What a total bar steward. Aimee, thank god your daughter has a mum like you.

quote:

Originally posted by Senora Reyes:
Just be there for her, as you always have been and leave it up to your daughter(Hard as it may seem) to decide if she wants to have contact with her Dad.

I do hope he does make some effort to maintain a relationship with her.

quote:

Originally posted by ~Cosmopolitan~:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
i could strangle mine at this present moment we haven't been together for a long time, so his life has got nothing to do with me and frankly i couldn't careless what he gets up too BUT we have a child together

anyway, when we split he met and started a family with another woman, daughter didn't like the fact too start with but got used to having a half brother, recently she found out through her grandparents that he as also now left her

he's never paid any maintence for my daughter and after all these years, i can say my daughter hasn't suffered, but she's always wanted her dad to be in her life

yesterday her grandad picked her up and asked her if she had heard from her dad *his son* and my daughter said no, he told me he is working away *grandad* *no he isn't working away he's moved to Ireland with his new woman, didn't he tell you*

i now how have a child that is so upset and i don't know how to help her

Hi Aimee,

My 2 eldest sons are/were in the same position as your daughter - their sperm donor (cos that's practically the only effort he ever made) was a total waste of time.

He never did anything to be a good role model for them, in fact, he did the total opposite. Of course, he played the victim in amongst his negligence.

No money, no input, no effort.....but a new wife and stepkids who cost him nothing in maintenance.

Frankly my boys both know they are and were better off without him. It can be upsetting getting to that point of realisation but a happier home life surrounded by true people is the way to go. And they've since told me they wouldn't have it any other way.

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
i could strangle mine at this present moment we haven't been together for a long time, so his life has got nothing to do with me and frankly i couldn't careless what he gets up too BUT we have a child together

anyway, when we split he met and started a family with another woman, daughter didn't like the fact too start with but got used to having a half brother, recently she found out through her grandparents that he as also now left her

he's never paid any maintence for my daughter and after all these years, i can say my daughter hasn't suffered, but she's always wanted her dad to be in her life

yesterday her grandad picked her up and asked her if she had heard from her dad *his son* and my daughter said no, he told me he is working away *grandad* *no he isn't working away he's moved to Ireland with his new woman, didn't he tell you*

i now how have a child that is so upset and i don't know how to help her

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
thank you and i agree with your points and so does my daughter, but its him going without even a goodbye with a woman she didn't even know he was with, thats hurt her

quote:

Originally posted by ~Cosmopolitan~:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
thank you and i agree with your points and so does my daughter, but its him going without even a goodbye with a woman she didn't even know he was with, thats hurt her

that must hurt terribly. But in all honesty, it's so typical. And of course, to pull your daughter up on her manners rather than answer her directly is just cowardly tactics.

Is there anyway you could manouvre your girl away from contact with him? I know that sounds awful, but he's going to mess her about forever more until she lets go. It's at least a cruel to be kind situ....and she won't be prey to his hurtful attitude.

I'm always suspicious of in laws too; they don't help when they're trying to defend their own.

Gah! I sound so cynical!!! But it was a blessed relief to cut all ties from my/our point of view. We got on with life - and life was good to us, at last.

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
it must be really hard aims.....cos you're daughter is upset and feels let down.....even though she's saying she isn't....

and his reply to her txt shows what a selfish uncaring knobswerve he is...

it's bound to knock her for six.....i wish i had the answer but i don't.....i hate seeing kids upset.....

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

i've told her not to answer his calls from now on and she has agreed, but i know she is hurting she said i wish i had a dad like yours * my dad is 67 and i'm still his little girl*

as for the in-laws they have been great grandparents *grandmother likes everything done her way *step grandmother i should say* grandad is the love of my daughters life, but her auntie *dads sister *23* was calling my daughter for disrespecting her dad what stopped me from picking up the phone i don't know

quote:

Originally posted by carotino:
Tricky subject. No dad or part-time couldn't care less dad.

I had none and love my mum twice as much

quote:

Originally posted by ~Cosmopolitan~:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

i've told her not to answer his calls from now on and she has agreed, but i know she is hurting she said i wish i had a dad like yours * my dad is 67 and i'm still his little girl*

as for the in-laws they have been great grandparents *grandmother likes everything done her way *step grandmother i should say* grandad is the love of my daughters life, but her auntie *dads sister *23* was calling my daughter for disrespecting her dad what stopped me from picking up the phone i don't know

I think if you act unconcerned about what her dad is up to and try to distract her, then she'll follow suit and adjust more easily. In laws can be a problem - they'll 'big up' her dad and keep the wound open. If you can, try and minimise her contact with the more interfering ones. Not easy I know, but a bit of "being out/busy" will give you both some breathing space, especially from the one's who enjoy dwelling on drama's.

It does get better. Your daughter will soon be an adult with lots of work and things to do. She'll be more distracted and less inclined to bother or worry about people who aren't worth bothering about.

In the meantime, it's the long game. You'll get there.

quote:

Originally posted by Koala Brother:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
i could strangle mine at this present moment we haven't been together for a long time, so his life has got nothing to do with me and frankly i couldn't careless what he gets up too BUT we have a child together

anyway, when we split he met and started a family with another woman, daughter didn't like the fact too start with but got used to having a half brother, recently she found out through her grandparents that he as also now left her

he's never paid any maintence for my daughter and after all these years, i can say my daughter hasn't suffered, but she's always wanted her dad to be in her life

yesterday her grandad picked her up and asked her if she had heard from her dad *his son* and my daughter said no, he told me he is working away *grandad* *no he isn't working away he's moved to Ireland with his new woman, didn't he tell you*

i now how have a child that is so upset and i don't know how to help her

F****N' bastard. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Tell your daughter she can come & stay with me & mine. All my daughters friends call my OH 'dad' & he's a big softie. for Aims girl

quote:

Originally posted by skive:
for Aimee and daughter.

Must be so hard but I think just give her lots and lots of love Aimee, extra amounts to make up for having a feckless dad.

My sister's children don't see their dads (which is probs better tbh) but they have questioned over the years why they weren't 'wanted' and we all just smothered them in as much love as possible. She's married now and hubby is their dad I guess.

I'm rambling a bit but I guess I just wanted to say it doesn't matter who gives kids love as long as they get lots of it they'll be fine.

quote:

Originally posted by Darthhoob:
i am angry for you

what a complete ****wit

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
i could strangle mine at this present moment we haven't been together for a long time, so his life has got nothing to do with me and frankly i couldn't careless what he gets up too BUT we have a child together

anyway, when we split he met and started a family with another woman, daughter didn't like the fact too start with but got used to having a half brother, recently she found out through her grandparents that he as also now left her

he's never paid any maintence for my daughter and after all these years, i can say my daughter hasn't suffered, but she's always wanted her dad to be in her life

yesterday her grandad picked her up and asked her if she had heard from her dad *his son* and my daughter said no, he told me he is working away *grandad* *no he isn't working away he's moved to Ireland with his new woman, didn't he tell you*

i now how have a child that is so upset and i don't know how to help her

quote:

Originally posted by cup:
So he has left your daughter aimee and another child,to go off with new woman

What does he look like I am in Ireland I will get him for ya

No seriously aimee and she is so young and when your kids are hurting it is hard when a situation is out of your control and you cannot help them to make it right for them.

But she seems a great girl all credit to you and your love for her will help her through this tough time

And you know what aimee if he came back and wanted to see her she would because its her dad,and no one can say you done anything to stop it,she will make that choice herself.

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by cup:
So he has left your daughter aimee and another child,to go off with new woman

What does he look like I am in Ireland I will get him for ya

No seriously aimee and she is so young and when your kids are hurting it is hard when a situation is out of your control and you cannot help them to make it right for them.

But she seems a great girl all credit to you and your love for her will help her through this tough time

And you know what aimee if he came back and wanted to see her she would because its her dad,and no one can say you done anything to stop it,she will make that choice herself.

get him for me