i'm in a bit of a quandary at present.
sorry for the long story...
as some of you are no doubt aware one of our former foster kids is a real "problem child", currently serving a 2.5 year sentence for stabbing someone he is expected to be locked up until at least sept '10.
now the problem is this, his mother has just told him that she has cancer (which given the abuse she inflicted on her children some might say was karma), she has told him that she has cancer of the mouth and for obvious reasons hes pretty upset about this.
i dont know how to handle discussing this, its hard to separate the callous mid 20's year old thug that i know with the upset person on the end of the phone, not just because of who he is and what he's done but also because of his mother.
the problem is this, his mother is an evil manipulative bitch who uses this lad purely for her own ends, he told her that he was going to request to serve his licence on release away from the area he was always getting into trouble in and also to be housed away from the area too, now this means away from her too.
i honestly wouldnt put it past her to be lying about the cancer just to keep him under her spell, after all, she's already told him that she most likely wont be able to visit him and that she could be dead before he gets out, if she "survives" his jail time he isnt going to want to move out of the area, a miraculous remission just prior to his release would force him to be back at her beck and call, i should point out that this wouldnt be the first time she has pulled a sick stunt to mess with him (unless you call slitting her wrist in front of him and telling him it was all his fault to punish him for not doing something she wanted. to be something normal).
if it were true then i would be happy to try to console him to the best of my ability, but if its a lie then getting him to come to terms with her dying would be almost as devastating at the betrayal.
now, i have asked around and cancer of the mouth is something that tends to affect alcoholics and it seems to be fast acting with very low survival rates so it is possible she is telling the truth, i have no way at all of checking if its true or not as i have no contact whatsoever with her, if i'm honest i only keep in contact with he son because he simply doesnt have anyone else he can talk to.
does anyone have any ideas as to how i should handle this (he wont hear that it could be a trick so no point in suggesting that).
sorry for the long story...
as some of you are no doubt aware one of our former foster kids is a real "problem child", currently serving a 2.5 year sentence for stabbing someone he is expected to be locked up until at least sept '10.
now the problem is this, his mother has just told him that she has cancer (which given the abuse she inflicted on her children some might say was karma), she has told him that she has cancer of the mouth and for obvious reasons hes pretty upset about this.
i dont know how to handle discussing this, its hard to separate the callous mid 20's year old thug that i know with the upset person on the end of the phone, not just because of who he is and what he's done but also because of his mother.
the problem is this, his mother is an evil manipulative bitch who uses this lad purely for her own ends, he told her that he was going to request to serve his licence on release away from the area he was always getting into trouble in and also to be housed away from the area too, now this means away from her too.
i honestly wouldnt put it past her to be lying about the cancer just to keep him under her spell, after all, she's already told him that she most likely wont be able to visit him and that she could be dead before he gets out, if she "survives" his jail time he isnt going to want to move out of the area, a miraculous remission just prior to his release would force him to be back at her beck and call, i should point out that this wouldnt be the first time she has pulled a sick stunt to mess with him (unless you call slitting her wrist in front of him and telling him it was all his fault to punish him for not doing something she wanted. to be something normal).
if it were true then i would be happy to try to console him to the best of my ability, but if its a lie then getting him to come to terms with her dying would be almost as devastating at the betrayal.
now, i have asked around and cancer of the mouth is something that tends to affect alcoholics and it seems to be fast acting with very low survival rates so it is possible she is telling the truth, i have no way at all of checking if its true or not as i have no contact whatsoever with her, if i'm honest i only keep in contact with he son because he simply doesnt have anyone else he can talk to.
does anyone have any ideas as to how i should handle this (he wont hear that it could be a trick so no point in suggesting that).
it's a bit clearer now after your explanation.
Was going to say that myself but you have said it for me,
