And Ditts, the 'big' days after a parent's death are horrid. We actually had a nice Christmas after my Dad died. It was so strange without him, and it didn't help that my Mum insisted on doing Christmas as usual. She put the turkey on the table, and I swear to Gawd it would still be there now if my sister in law hadn't jumped in and done the carving!!
I coped fine with his birthday and with Father's Day but my birthday, almost a year after his death had me in bits all day.
it's almost 12 years now. His illness and suffering, and the first year after his death are now just a memory. Now, when I think of him I smile
Hang on in there