You sound so down.You think that little (very cute) doggy worked so hard keeping you well over the years so you could go and undo it all with some tablets? I dont think you would want all her hard work to have ultimately been for nothing do you?
I'm a little worried about you now hun, are your sons coming to be with you at all?? or someone else? If not maybe you should ask one of them... i dont think you should be on your own right now hun as you say the silence is too much.
So sad to think of someone in all this pain, as others have said keep posting here so we know you are ok.