Thanks so much Jasmine... Again, I am not offended, and I can see how I could come across as a bit needy and desperate. It's just that I am worried if *I* don't get in touch, I will lose her as a friend....and in many other ways, she is great... I am quite an insecure person too, and assume if someone does not return calls/messages, that I must have upset them, and they are mad with me.quote:Originally posted by JasmineJ:
Maybe she would call you first if given the chance? You obviously value her friendship so you have to ask yourself what would be more hurtful for YOU, the possibility of not seeing her anymore or just accepting she’s not reliable and maintaining the friendship as it is now. There is a giver and a taker in most relationships, so give her a chance to get in touch and don’t fret over it too much - don't count the days/weeks since she called, quality is better than quantity?
Sorry if this sounds harsh but you don’t want to appear too needy or too expectant, otherwise seeing you WILL become a ‘duty’ to be fulfilled rather than a fun and relaxed meet up.
I have a couple of other pals - one who lives in my neighbouring street, about 2 minutes walk away, who I see socially about once a month, when we go swimming together with our daughters, and one who I have regular email contact with and see about 3 times a year.. The second one who lives 40-50 miles away, emails me sometimes out of the blue, unlike my pal who I am on about in this thread, and if I email her, she always responds within 1-2 days.
And the girl in my neighbouring street is quite OK too, and it's easy to keep contact because we live 40 yards apart... Not in each other's pockets, and we go a week without seeing each other sometimes, but she is closeby, so we 'see each other' to arrange stuff. But this other pal is just awful for not returning my calls and not getting in touch... maybe I 'should' just 'not contact her' again, and see what happens...